Well, he checked me and sadly, Levi's head was still very high up. My blood pressure was getting higher and that worried the Dr. a lot. With that, the headaches and the slow laboring I had been doing (with no progress) the Dr became more concerned.
He was asking me questions and flipping through some paperwork, looking at ultrasound results and asking about Levi's original due date.
Then he said "well, there is no progress and Im getting concerned. With your blood pressure getting higher, your risks of having a seizure increases everyday that the baby stays inside. So I think we need to deliver this baby... today."
Steve and I were speechless and totally taken off guard. Steve was planning on going back to work... I was going to go home and sleep more. This was not in our plans at all. I think the Dr. could tell we were shocked because we said nothing and then he added, "I know this is a lot to take in but its the best choice. We know we need to deliver the baby soon so we have to decide when and I think today, then we have to decide how we are going to deliver and his head is obviously not moving so I say c-section. Do you have any questions?"
I think we managed to ask a few questions and discuss it for about 2 minutes and then he said, "great well don't eat or drink, come back at 3 and we'll get you prepped for surgery at 5."
And that was it...
So Steve and I went home and enjoyed our last moments at home, with Edgar, without a baby. It was surreal... it was weird to think, "okay, this is it... I will never be back in this house without a baby. Steve and I will never again just be husband and wife but also mom and dad. The next time I walk into our home... Ill have a son in my arms."
Then we headed to the hospital and I tried to be brave.
Just a couple of hours before Levi was born
Our last picture as a family without Levi
So, before I knew it I was in the hospital room, filling out paperwork and getting prepped for surgery. It was weird knowing that Levi would be born so soon. They gave me an IV, put me in a big gown and even put one of those covers over my hair. My mom and Steve were in the room with me for a couple hours and at 5pm, it was time.
As soon as I said bye to my mom and Steve (he had to put on scrubs and would be coming in after my spinal was over) it started to sink in and I got really really nervous. The walk to the surgery room was one of the scariest things in my life. I started to shake everywhere and got really nervous. Then, they brought me into this room that was totally white and "sterile", sat me on a bed and began to give me a Spinal (which the nurse said was no big deal and wouldnt hurt at all). The spinal was the worst experience of my life. They kept missing the right spot to do the injection and I think I ended up with 7 pokes before they finally got the right spot. I remember sobbing and leaning on my doctor who was trying to calm me down. I kept getting pain and tingly feelings on my left side. It was horrible.
By the time Steve came in, I was hysterical. I remember him walking in with a smile on his face but once he saw how upset I was, the smile quickly left. I kept crying and begging him, "please don't ever make me do this again. I never want to do this again. Please dont make me."
Finally, the numbness kicked in, they put up the sheet and I could hear the tools. I couldn't feel them cutting my stomach but I knew they were which made it weird. Then, I felt this weird pressure and as they pulled Levi out, my whole body was being jerked and pulled. It felt awful. Steve actually stood up and watched them pull him out. I was crying and saying, "I dont like this. This hurts."
And then, I heard him cry.
They showed him to me over the sheet and I'll be honest, he looked disgusting. He was blue with white goo all over him but of course he was still beautiful and thats when tears of joy came. Thy quickly took him over to my left to give him some oxygen and measure and weigh him. Steve went over and took pictures and I had to lay there, staring from a distance. I kept asking if he was okay and the nurses said, "he's perfect. He's breathing and peeing a lot. Everything is fine." Then, Steve came over and held Levi to my face so I could kiss him. I remember saying, "take a picture. Quick. Before I lose it." I could feel myself fading. We took the picture and thats all I remember.
Our first family picture
Washing all that beautiful blonde hair
The nurse said in her 25 years of working, she had never seen this size of a baby with a head so big. His head was 14 3/4 inches around.
Then, I remember waking up with Naomi and my mom at my side saying "he's perfect and beautiful and you aren't going to believe how much hair he has!" Steve walked in with him shortly after and sure enough... I couldn't believe all his blonde hair! It was beautiful and he was just perfect :)
As soon as I said bye to my mom and Steve (he had to put on scrubs and would be coming in after my spinal was over) it started to sink in and I got really really nervous. The walk to the surgery room was one of the scariest things in my life. I started to shake everywhere and got really nervous. Then, they brought me into this room that was totally white and "sterile", sat me on a bed and began to give me a Spinal (which the nurse said was no big deal and wouldnt hurt at all). The spinal was the worst experience of my life. They kept missing the right spot to do the injection and I think I ended up with 7 pokes before they finally got the right spot. I remember sobbing and leaning on my doctor who was trying to calm me down. I kept getting pain and tingly feelings on my left side. It was horrible.
By the time Steve came in, I was hysterical. I remember him walking in with a smile on his face but once he saw how upset I was, the smile quickly left. I kept crying and begging him, "please don't ever make me do this again. I never want to do this again. Please dont make me."
Finally, the numbness kicked in, they put up the sheet and I could hear the tools. I couldn't feel them cutting my stomach but I knew they were which made it weird. Then, I felt this weird pressure and as they pulled Levi out, my whole body was being jerked and pulled. It felt awful. Steve actually stood up and watched them pull him out. I was crying and saying, "I dont like this. This hurts."
And then, I heard him cry.
They showed him to me over the sheet and I'll be honest, he looked disgusting. He was blue with white goo all over him but of course he was still beautiful and thats when tears of joy came. Thy quickly took him over to my left to give him some oxygen and measure and weigh him. Steve went over and took pictures and I had to lay there, staring from a distance. I kept asking if he was okay and the nurses said, "he's perfect. He's breathing and peeing a lot. Everything is fine." Then, Steve came over and held Levi to my face so I could kiss him. I remember saying, "take a picture. Quick. Before I lose it." I could feel myself fading. We took the picture and thats all I remember.
Levi Abner James Hanks
Born on April 1, 2009 at 5:23pm
7lbs 14.8oz
20 3/4 inches long
Born on April 1, 2009 at 5:23pm
7lbs 14.8oz
20 3/4 inches long
Our first family picture
Washing all that beautiful blonde hair
The nurse said in her 25 years of working, she had never seen this size of a baby with a head so big. His head was 14 3/4 inches around.
This was the first time I got to hold him.
So that was the story... it was the worst and best experience of my life. It was hard and painful and it definitely wasn't what I had hoped for or had in mind. However, I am blessed with a healthy baby boy and it doesnt matter how he came out. All that matters is he is out and we are both safe:)
2 comments:
very nice story...well told. It was like I was there.
Just came across your blog and I'm 30 weeks along with my second. Your story of your c-section made me tear up. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I remember the shaking when the pulled my son out. It was really strange and scary. He's adorable. Did you pass out?
Post a Comment